182: Goodbye — context, thank you, parting advice and some social commentary

Interactive Transcript

spk_0 Hello everyone, welcome to Nutrition Matters podcast. My name is Paige and it's kind of bizarre, but here I am recording my last episode.

spk_0 I don't know how you feel about that. I don't know if that seems like a big deal to you or not, but for me,

spk_0 podcasting has been a big part of my life for the past five and a half years. And so I thought I needed to hop back on here and explain a little bit about how I came to this decision and kind of hopefully tie up any loose ends to the extent that I can and just give you a little bit of parting advice if it's helpful as you move on from listening to this podcast.

spk_0 So let's start off with giving some context.

spk_0 So for some of you, maybe this will be a repeat a little bit, but I like I want to give you some context as to why even start in the first place and then how I got to the point where I felt like it was just time to make a change.

spk_0 So five and a let's see five and a half, probably six years ago now, I went through an experience in my life that was really, really, really challenging and I felt really alone and going through that.

spk_0 And one of the things that really brought me through and really helped me was listening to podcasts and I spent a good solid, you know, many months just pouring myself over the resources that I could find that helped me not feel alone that helped me understand what I was going through better and that helps me start to heal from from there.

spk_0 And when I kind of felt like I was coming up for breath, I thought, you know what, I would love to do something like this for other people.

spk_0 And I thought, you know what, why not a podcast and why not podcast about the things that I know and the things that I'm good at and the things that I do.

spk_0 And so that's how it started for me was really this intention of trying to hopefully pay it forward a little bit since I had benefited so much from it.

spk_0 This was 2015, so this was before podcasts were really a big deal.

spk_0 Since then, obviously lots and lots of podcasts have popped up, popped up.

spk_0 There are so many podcasts at this point in 2020, end of 2020, that talk about intuitive eating and healing your relationship with food.

spk_0 And so I'm, you know, by no means alone in podcasting at this point, but back then there really weren't many.

spk_0 So it's been really interesting to kind of see this project morph and evolve through the years.

spk_0 It has brought so much goodness into my life. I have learned so much. I have grown so much professionally and personally through these conversations that I've been able to have.

spk_0 I've connected with such amazing people. It's been so fun. It's been so great overall.

spk_0 What has been really kind of unexpected and hard for me is I don't, I didn't ever set out to like, I don't know, it's kind of even weird to talk about it because I don't want to make it sound like I think I'm a bigger deal than I am.

spk_0 I'm not, but it's bizarre to me that I will get emails from people, you know, in Australia and the UK and Africa and, you know, all over the world people are listening to this podcast that I just, you know, talking to a microphone and put it out there.

spk_0 It's both incredibly cool and a privilege and amazing, but also like a little bit scary because I don't know if I ever really got into the right head space to have such a voice in this space and granted, I know I'm not by any means famous or well known or a public figure, but, you know, in this little corner of the world of intuitive eating and I'm not going to be able to do that.

spk_0 I'm challenging diet culture, you know, lots of people who are interested in that have probably tuned into this podcast at some point and so it's just an interesting and very bizarre thing and kind of fell into my lap really organically and for a long time it was fun for me to kind of feel like I was able to have a voice and it became a pretty big part of my professional identity and how I conceptualize my voice.

spk_0 I've realized myself and my value and my worth and my role and my purpose and none of that is bad. I mean, I think that's all great, but where I'm at now is I've kind of gotten a little bit of what's the what's the phrase that's used like I've gotten insight into kind of the inner workings of some of this world that's just weird, you know, and it's just weird.

spk_0 It's just not really me and it really makes me uncomfortable and I'm not really sure I want to be a part of it. So to give you some examples, there is so much weirdness about people basically harassing me to come on my podcast.

spk_0 I mean, I get five to ten emails every single day with people pitching to come on the podcast and I have to constantly say no and then they keep harassing me and, you know, I don't I don't have an assistant.

spk_0 I like I do this like honestly out of the goodness of my heart and it's really feels like a lot of people see this see the podcasting as like, you know, obviously, I mean, it is a business opportunity and it is a thing, but gosh, it's just it's become this really gimmicky machine like thing.

spk_0 And I don't even know how people find my emails or my email address.

spk_0 So feeling all the pitches is exhausting and then there's other things like people do sort of like do a favor for me and then expect to come on my podcast as repayment and there's just bizarre things for me.

spk_0 I mean, I have to allow the interpersonally and professionally with other clinicians where, you know, maybe I don't line or I don't necessarily want to promote their work, but they, they think that I owe them for whatever reason and there's just enough weirdness like that that I'm like, you know what, I just need to be done because I'm really sick of dealing with, with that whole side of things, especially like to put in a context too, like I, I work full time.

spk_0 You know, I have a full caseload. I have three dieticians who work in my practice with me

spk_0 and I'm also doing distance school with my kids.

spk_0 It's a lot and

spk_0 like navigating all of this other

spk_0 political stuff that happens, you know, in the inner workings of running a podcast.

spk_0 It's just not what I want to do and I don't make money from podcasting.

spk_0 So it's it's not something that can really hire out and there's just a lot of stuff that just has kind of

spk_0 conspired to just be like, yeah, I don't want to deal with that anymore.

spk_0 There's also the side of things where I don't know if you guys remember, but I don't know, was this last year or the year before?

spk_0 Honestly time is so weird, but at one point I was like going to write a book and

spk_0 that was the most bizarre experience ever for me because it I saw how I was not gonna have really any autonomy

spk_0 over what was said in the book and

spk_0 I

spk_0 didn't trust my expertise. They just wanted to basically to just use my credentials to slap on the cover of this book that they already

spk_0 basically knew what they wanted it to say and didn't care about it being true to me and

spk_0 That was sort of a turning point for me where you know in my mind I was like, okay, I'm I'm in this like

spk_0 Basically and I didn't think about it like this, but like I'm in this rat race where it's like more more more more more more

spk_0 listeners more

spk_0 conferences more speaking opportunities more followers more more more and then

spk_0 You know, oh my gosh, I'm getting up. I might be getting a book deal. What the heck and

spk_0 Then realizing wait, I don't want to do that and wait what if I did sign my name to something that I

spk_0 Ultimately didn't feel was true to me like what and it kind of caused me to take a step back and just be like what am I doing?

spk_0 And honestly ever since then I have not really felt the same about podcasting because

spk_0 What am I doing this for I mean obviously to help you and I hope that it has to the years

spk_0 But at the same time I have to say like

spk_0 A lot of what I feel like I can say on a podcast has been said a lot of what I feel like I want to say

spk_0 Has been said a lot of what I want to say I can't say because

spk_0 It's too nuanced. It's too individualized. It's too tricky to try to convey to an audience of

spk_0 You know, and I'm careful not to even talk about numbers because I

spk_0 fully believe that if you are truly in this weight neutral space

spk_0 But you're flaunting your

spk_0 Podcast downloads or your Instagram followers or whatever I just don't see that as being authentic and aligned

spk_0 I see that as being very antithetical to this whole weight neutrality, but now I'm gonna flaunt my numbers

spk_0 and and so I just

spk_0 There's so many things I would love to say that I can't and that's why I started

spk_0 Nutrition matters premium which is the five dollars a month you get access to

spk_0 More podcasts and I thought that that would give me this renewed energy for

spk_0 Podcasting in this sort of more intimate group of people who have

spk_0 Who really like like what I'm doing enough to be willing to

spk_0 pay for some content and

spk_0 Honestly just to be super straightforward and transparent like that's been fun for me, but it it really

spk_0 Like I'm not making money as I sleep like let's just put it that way

spk_0 It's barely been covering the costs of podcasting and it's definitely not even covering my time

spk_0 And sure I could be more salesy. I could be more

spk_0 I could be more aggressive in my marketing and I could be more in your face about like

spk_0 Pay me here and join this and do that, but you know what I don't want to like

spk_0 I don't want to do that and I don't really feel like I have time to do that either and I don't

spk_0 Want to hire that out because I want whatever I'm doing to be authentic and so I'm in this position where

spk_0 I've tried other things I've tried to kind of see like

spk_0 Okay, well I will I feel like doing it a few months. What if I put it down and then how will I feel then and I just keep coming back to you

spk_0 I just think I'm done and it's okay to be done and

spk_0 One thing I'm really proud of in

spk_0 Running my business is I've always done I've always made decisions based on what feels right

spk_0 There's been times where I've said no and everyone asks me why would you say no to that or their times when I've said yes

spk_0 And people are like why would you why would you create to do that like what are you thinking?

spk_0 So I'm not the world's most savvy business person because I

spk_0 Really truly feel like my business is my

spk_0 values I

spk_0 Align my decisions with what feels right to me and I'm willing to take

spk_0 You know advice from other people and I'm willing to be wrong and all that that could stuff but

spk_0 In the end challenging diet culture

spk_0 Also to me means challenging

spk_0 marketing culture and challenging entrepreneurship culture and like

spk_0 Challenging the formulaic thinking that we engage in when with running a podcast or running a practice or

spk_0 being a dietitian like

spk_0 You can't separate those things. So I know I talk about this all the time on the podcast

spk_0 One of the beautiful things about working on your relationship with food is you can't help but have that bleed into other areas of life

spk_0 and for me doing this work absolutely

spk_0 Has informed how I think about running my practice and how I think about

spk_0 Running a business and my professional life

spk_0 And so with all that being said like

spk_0 I

spk_0 I want you to know like I'm not

spk_0 I'm not angry. I'm not

spk_0 I haven't been mistreated. I mean

spk_0 sure there are people who

spk_0 have been awful to me throughout the years and

spk_0 There's people who really don't like me and that's fine. I get it

spk_0 But I like I'm just I'm just saying you know what I'm kind of done and I really right now

spk_0 I'm most excited about

spk_0 Individual conversations individual work with my clients

spk_0 um

spk_0 I am a person who needs and craves and thrives off of

spk_0 new new wants

spk_0 complex

spk_0 meaningful

spk_0 deep

spk_0 connections and conversations

spk_0 and a podcast is a great way to do that um

spk_0 But the social media culture we live in the call out culture the

spk_0 Uber ultra woke culture

spk_0 It's just too much

spk_0 And I'll probably get in trouble for even saying that but um you know I

spk_0 I kind of don't feel like I need to have the reach that I felt like I wanted to have in the past

spk_0 I feel like I am getting more and more comfortable with

spk_0 Nobody knowing who I am

spk_0 Except for my clients doing really good

spk_0 Work day and day out

spk_0 quiet

spk_0 Unacknowledged work

spk_0 And just living my life and enjoying my family enjoying where I live enjoying nature

spk_0 and

spk_0 Not having my mental energy be monopolized by

spk_0 That awful email I got or that horrific interaction I had with that person who

spk_0 Doesn't really don't really know me it doesn't take the time just takes me out of context or whatever like

spk_0 I'm kind of done with that and that's not really the kind of life I want to live

spk_0 So I need nuance and the online world just doesn't feel supportive of that need right now

spk_0 And so I'm just going with what feels best to me

spk_0 Really excited about these one-on-one conversations

spk_0 I'm excited about how challenging it's been to challenge

spk_0 My

spk_0 My ego for all this too like my sense of identity my sense of purpose my sense of professional

spk_0 Worthiness like if I'm not podcasting then

spk_0 Then what and and am I still okay and do I still matter and

spk_0 That might be kind of vulnerable to admit, but you know, I've had to wrestle with that and the answer is absolutely

spk_0 I'm still worthy and it's okay. It's okay to be done

spk_0 And I'm sharing all this not to be like I'm so great, but really

spk_0 More because I feel like

spk_0 My loyal listeners a deserve a bit of a explanation and b

spk_0 I hope that it gives you permission to maybe look at something in your life that

spk_0 Maybe you have had this knowing feeling like I need to look at that. I need to understand that I need to question that

spk_0 And I need to examine and reassess is that what I want to be doing

spk_0 Maybe me doing something like this and sharing about my inner

spk_0 inner world in

spk_0 Navigating this maybe that also helps you think about something in your own life. So that's my intention in sharing all of that

spk_0 I also really want to just say thank you

spk_0 I know I talk about how it's challenging to be public and out there

spk_0 But it's also very rewarding and

spk_0 Kind of makes me want to cry a little like

spk_0 all the people who

spk_0 have

spk_0 taken time to let me know

spk_0 How this podcast has helped them

spk_0 Means a lot to me. It's really why

spk_0 Sorry

spk_0 It's why I started podcasting is because I wanted to

spk_0 To

spk_0 give other people

spk_0 The gift that I felt like I had been given

spk_0 um

spk_0 In not feeling alone and in

spk_0 Have being able to listen in on conversations that

spk_0 Like helped me heal and touched my soul and

spk_0 Helped me feel more whole I hope that this podcast

spk_0 Um has helped you do that

spk_0 Oh

spk_0 I didn't I didn't I'm not actually a very emotional person, but

spk_0 I think this is just um

spk_0 I'm exhausted. It's been a long year

spk_0 Ah, so let's talk about what I've been up to if it's fun for you um

spk_0 I got a kitten

spk_0 I got a kitten in

spk_0 September and I'm not I'm not kidding it has been

spk_0 Such a fun thing for me. It's brought so much joy

spk_0 and

spk_0 play and fun

spk_0 Into my life and um

spk_0 He's a little rascal. We enjoy him so much

spk_0 He is I think fourish months now

spk_0 So he's still totally a kitten but he's very snugly and there's nothing like a like a little

spk_0 soft snugly creature

spk_0 Like sitting on your lap and like purring and just

spk_0 enjoying your presence like that feels so good. So that's been a lot of fun

spk_0 The election was something else

spk_0 I still feel like I'm physically recovering from

spk_0 The anxiety of constantly

spk_0 updating my New York Times

spk_0 um

spk_0 Happ on my phone like every second for basically an entire week

spk_0 That's been really intense um

spk_0 Since I last checked in with with the podcast I've also actually

spk_0 Hired another dietician in my practice her name's Lauren Jones

spk_0 She's a sports dietician. She is seriously

spk_0 Wonderful fabulous amazing person. We're so lucky to have her um

spk_0 she

spk_0 She's working in the practice um

spk_0 Just a few days a week she is so amazing she takes blue cross blue shield and sigma

spk_0 As as of now and we're adding her onto a couple other panels right now too. So

spk_0 That's been a fun update and then i'm also right now really enjoying um

spk_0 knitting so every winter

spk_0 I get way back into knitting and then you know winter fades away and I kind of forget about it for a bit

spk_0 And then once it gets cold gets cold again, I get excited about it. So a couple projects I'm working on right now, which is fun

spk_0 um

spk_0 I'm thinking about

spk_0 Couple upcoming projects maybe

spk_0 um i'm considering doing a whole course on

spk_0 Starting a private practice because that is something that I get asked about

spk_0 All the time and I would love to be able to send people to a resource that feels interactive and helpful

spk_0 So keep you out for that if you're interested um or a fear dietician or if you're a clinician and maybe could use some help or some coaching with that

spk_0 I might be making some resources about that in the in the new year. We'll see how I feel um

spk_0 But yeah, thank you so much for

spk_0 Like being with me on this journey. I've learned so much. I appreciate your grace and your

spk_0 forgiveness in my imperfections. I appreciate you being willing

spk_0 To allow me to grow and evolve and shift and morph and and you know be imperfect and messy and

spk_0 complex um

spk_0 I know so many of you have given me that space and it's meant to lot and I feel that support and I'm just very grateful for it

spk_0 um

spk_0 And if I can I would love to offer a little bit of parting advice as a dietician

spk_0 Kind of speaking broadly and generally to you the listener hopefully

spk_0 Some of what I say might mean something to you but um

spk_0 I want you to know that I believe in

spk_0 This I believe that you have what it takes to have the healthy relationship with food

spk_0 Like you are not effective any

spk_0 dysfunction that's cropped up with you and your relationship with food is probably because that's just the best that you've known

spk_0 How to deal and how to handle

spk_0 how to get through

spk_0 The stuff that life has thrown your way

spk_0 um

spk_0 Your body can be trusted

spk_0 If that feels foreign if that feels scary think about times in your life where you have

spk_0 Built trust with another person after struggling with that like how do you do that you

spk_0 Like what steps do you go through with another person to build trust and try to do some of that same stuff with your body like

spk_0 All day every day your body is showing you that you can trust it like

spk_0 Maybe it's not perfect and maybe it's messy and maybe it's hard

spk_0 But like so is every single relationship that you're in like nothing is a hundred percent perfect and

spk_0 Nor is your relationship with your body nor is your trust with your body

spk_0 But you can work on it and it is so worth it and it's so rewarding and it brings so much

spk_0 more peace into your life

spk_0 Um, I also want you to know that there are

spk_0 More important things in life than

spk_0 Obsessing about food like there's so much more out there

spk_0 if if you recognize that obsessing about food and body

spk_0 Is a distraction is a

spk_0 technique for

spk_0 avoiding

spk_0 First of all, you're not alone second of all like come up with something better like honestly if it were me

spk_0 I would I would encourage you to knit

spk_0 I'm joking, but like find something fun that

spk_0 Is challenging and that feels good and that gives you a sense of accomplishment and

spk_0 um

spk_0 That feels rewarding those are real needs you do need to feel that way and you need to have those things

spk_0 But food is not the best way to do that

spk_0 You deserve goodness you deserve joy you deserve

spk_0 All the good things in this world and

spk_0 I like I know that that might be weird for me to say but like I work with enough people

spk_0 I know I've

spk_0 Known enough people through the years to confidently say that that this is just true across the board like you deserve it

spk_0 you are worthy of goodness you're worthy of

spk_0 Feeling good you're worthy of having a healthy relationship with food you're worthy of

spk_0 spending time and energy to

spk_0 With the hope of developing

spk_0 And cultivating something better for yourself like that's

spk_0 You're worthy of that

spk_0 I hope that that means something to you

spk_0 Um last thing I'll say is I've I've gotten some feedback from some of the folks in the um

spk_0 Nutrition matters premium group and I just wanted to read some of that um by the way

spk_0 I'm I'm actually shutting that down as well. So um that's not available, but

spk_0 I

spk_0 Just wanted to say I just wanted to read some of the feedback I got because

spk_0 Um made me feel good and and I hope maybe it encourages you to check out maybe some of my resources that I offer um

spk_0 So before I dive in and read this like

spk_0 If you've gotten something out of the podcast

spk_0 And you're wondering like how do I play this how does this work how do I make sense of that join one of my online courses

spk_0 I don't push it too much because I

spk_0 Again, I'm not I'm not good at that and it's uncomfortable for me and

spk_0 Whatever was just not my gig, but like truly I stand behind what I've created. I've created a resource with Jesse Hoffman

spk_0 Dr. Jesse Hoffman actually

spk_0 Um about nutrition science called positive nutrition 101. I have an online course called raising intuitive eaters that talks about

spk_0 How to take your knowledge of what you've learned about intuitive eating and apply that as a parent

spk_0 raising kids

spk_0 I have a course called positive nutrition for life where

spk_0 I walk you through like how to develop a healthy relationship with food and it is like very in depth

spk_0 It's long form it there's a 70 page workbook that goes along with it

spk_0 Like invest in something like that if this podcast has meant something to you

spk_0 Like

spk_0 Invest in that if you feel like you could use something to help you take things a little bit further

spk_0 So I'm just gonna read two responses and then I'll let you go but

spk_0 One person said the nutrition matters podcasts and pages approach to body acceptance and gentle nutrition is a game changer

spk_0 Listening to the podcasts is like breathing out a huge sigh of relief

spk_0 There is a way to stop the insanity and isn't

spk_0 That and it isn't aggressive or requires you to get angry nor will it cost you thousands of dollars like some of the other higher

spk_0 Profile anti-diet social media stars out there who hook you in with a tiny bit of free content and then ask for thousands for any other content

spk_0 page deserves a lot more recognition

spk_0 And could certainly charge more for her work than she gets but she stays true to her listeners and

spk_0 What works for healing your relationship with food?

spk_0 I listened for free for over a year and finally signed up to premium and it's totally worth it

spk_0 The premium podcasts have a logical flow to them and it feels like I'm getting a course in intuitive eating with practical

spk_0 and applicable register dieticians advice

spk_0 and spot on insights

spk_0 So obviously she's talking about nutrition matters premium there, but like I mean the same is true with the courses

spk_0 um

spk_0 Okay, here's the next one as I finally decided to leave diet culture once and for all I've literally listened to episode after episode of pages free

spk_0 Podcast soaking up all her wisdom and encouragement when it comes to intuitive eating

spk_0 When I found out she had a private podcast with exclusive content released each month

spk_0 There's no brainer

spk_0 As a transition as I transition from tracking macros to embracing intuitive eating

spk_0 I'm needed all the support I can get and for such a low cost and grateful

spk_0 I did it the meditations are also amazing. Thank you page for your hard work. Okay

spk_0 It makes me feel like I'm not so lonely and it makes me feel like leaving diet culture

spk_0 Isn't so hard

spk_0 Okay, my friends. I'm just leaving you with that because I

spk_0 I

spk_0 Just want to encourage you to check out the online resources and um, I guess I should mention to redefine those those are

spk_0 positive-nutrition.com slash academy and all the courses are there you can check out

spk_0 All of them. I would love to have you join

spk_0 um, thanks so much for your understanding um

spk_0 Yeah, it's great to be with you and thanks for

spk_0 Thanks in advance for understanding why I've made this choice and for supporting me in it

spk_0 It's not an easy choice to make

spk_0 um, and I know that there will be so much of what I will miss

spk_0 But I think it will be overall a relief and I think it's the right choice for me. So thanks so much for that

spk_0 understanding and

spk_0 Gosh, I usually say I'll see you soon for another episode, but um today. I'll say um

spk_0 I wish you well. I wish you

spk_0 I wish you

spk_0 I wish you health and I wish you

spk_0 well-being and joy and goodness and whatever that looks like in your own life

spk_0 so thanks for allowing me to be a little part of your life and um

spk_0 It's meant a lot

182: Goodbye — context, thank you, parting advice and some social commentary

Interactive Transcript

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